The Priscillas Part One

Did you ever want a blowtorch for a finger? Meet Priscilla Sumner, my guest blogger, an ordinary seventh grader with extraordinary gifts, who’s the main character in the new Middle Grade novel, Priscilla the Great by Sybil Nelson. Priss is here to give out her pop culture awards for 2010.

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This has been a great year for pop culture. So great in fact, that some people deserve some awards. Thus, I’m introducing The Priscillas: Awards in Pop Culture, a completely worthless recognition that gives me an opportunity to spout off my big mouth with my sometimes nonsensical but always entertaining rants. There are so many categories that we are going to break up this award show into several parts.

Here we go with part one!

Most pathetic publicity stunt:

I am by no means a Katy Perry fan. In fact, she kind of annoys me. She’ll probably have a couple of nominations in the Music the Radio Shouldn’t Play category. And that stunt she pulled showing all that cleavage on Sesame Street was just another lame attempt of hers to get attention. And you know what? People fed right into it. I mean really, it’s just boobs. And kids that age are only thinking one of two things when they see her boobs 1. Why are those tan balloons blocking Elmo? Or 2. That reminds me, it’s lunch time.

3D Movie that really did not need to be in 3D:

Okay, this 3D thing is getting out of hand. Every movie does not need to pop out at you. Now of course, there are a few brilliant choices for 3D. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Johnny Knoxville coming out of the screen full speed in a shopping cart and probably covered in poo? But then there are some choices that are just downright bizarre. Apparently, Justin Bieber’s new movie is coming out in 3D. I guess millions of girls want his hair so close they can touch it. Whatever. Anyway, that movie doesn’t come out until 2011 so it can win this year. So, the winner for 3D movie that really didn’t need to be in 3D for 2010 is

Earworm of the Year:

This should really be separated into two categories. I mean there are two types of earworms, songs that get stuck in your head for so long that you just give in and start singing along, and songs that eventually lead you to suicide. “Whip My Hair” by Willow Smith is the song that finally whipped me into submission. After a record thirteen days straight of having that song on repeat auto play in my head, I finally gave in, cranked it up and gave myself a chronic case of whiplash. If you don’t know the song, go grab a neck brace and enjoy!

Music the Radio Shouldn’t Play:

This is a tough call. There’s really so much to choose from. For me, it came down to Rihanna or Katy Perry. When I think of these two ladies all I can say is “Why?” But when it comes down to it, I had to vote for Rihanna for two reasons. 1. Katy already won another category and 2. Rihanna’s voice literally makes my skin crawl. And what is up with this video? Is it not the worst video in history? It literally gives me a seizure.

YouTube Video That Still Makes Me Cry with Laughter:

I could watch this video about a million times and never get tired of it. Actually, I don’t even know which version is funnier so I’m going to put both. Enjoy!

…more Priscillas to come.